Healing Through Forgiveness

Tips For Coping After An Open Adoption

17 September 2020 by Kurt Garrett

Making the decision to place a child for adoption is the definition of love and compassion, but that doesn't mean that it is easy for a birth mother. Many birth mothers opt for an open adoption arrangement. With an open adoption, the birth mother and the adoptive parents agree to stay in communication-- the amount of communication depends on what both parties feel comfortable with. Even with an open adoption, the weeks, months, and in some cases, years, following the birth and adoption of a baby can be difficult for a birth mother. If you have arranged for an open adoption of your baby, use the following tips to cope after the adoption is finalized.

Don't Ignore Your Feelings

Most women experience a lot of emotions after giving birth due to the shift in hormones. When you combine hormone changes and an open adoption, it is normal to experience a wide array of emotions. In this type of situation, it is important to face your emotions instead of burying them or ignoring them. It may be helpful to keep a journal where you can write down your thoughts and feelings. Processing your emotions after an open adoption is healthy and can help you heal.

Consider Professional Counseling

When a woman places a child for adoption, professional counseling is often highly recommended. Counseling can be very beneficial both during the pregnancy and after you give your child to his or her adoptive parents and the adoption is finalized. A good counselor will be able to work with you to come to terms with the adoption and feel confident in your choice. He or she will also be able to help you cope with any feelings of loss or sadness that you may experience after you give birth and go through the adoption process. 

Join an Adoption Support Group

A counselor can be a very useful resource after you go through an open adoption. However, in addition to individual counseling sessions, you may want to also seriously consider joining an adoption support group. In an adoption support group, you will be able to interact and talk with other women who have also recently placed their babies for adoption. Many women find it very comforting to be able to speak freely and share their feelings with others who are going through the same situation. In an adoption support group, you may learn some useful coping methods from other attendees. 

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