Healing Through Forgiveness

Has Your Spouse Been Unfaithful? Tips For You

18 May 2019 by Kurt Garrett

When you are in a marriage, one of your biggest nightmares might be that your spouse cheats on you or is somehow unfaithful. And if infidelity has entered into your marriage, you may feel as if your entire life is a waking version of that nightmare. However, there are ways that you can handle the situation that can make it more manageable and can help you cope. Get to know a few tips for what to do when your spouse has been unfaithful. Then, you can be sure you get through this difficult time as well as possible given the circumstances. 

Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

Oftentimes, when traumatic events like infidelity occur, people tend to try to suppress or bottle up their feelings. There is this common misconception in society today that you need to stay "tough" or "strong" in order to be successful at dealing with a situation, but nothing could be further from the truth. 

Allowing yourself to truly feel your emotions and accepting how you feel is the fastest way toward healing when you have been through trauma. Suppressing emotions can cause prolonged depression, anxiety, trust issues, and more that could come back and recur for years and years. You do not want to be dealing with the emotional repercussions of your spouse's infidelity several years from now. It is better to process and handle those feelings in the present moment. 

Consider Your Options When Your Emotions Calm

When infidelity affects a marriage, there are generally two options to consider. You can either work through the issues that lead to infidelity or you can leave the marriage entirely. Temporary separation to clear your head is also an option. However, you do not want to make the decision rashly or in a heightened emotional state. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and process them. Then, you can consider your options for your marriage. 

You need to consider these options carefully, particularly in terms of the long-term consequences. Marriage is an important commitment and should not be abandoned lightly. But if infidelity is a complete deal breaker for you, or you simply cannot get over the betrayal, divorce may be your best option. If you still want to be with your spouse, then staying and putting in the hard work of dealing with uncomfortable issues may be your best choice. 

Try Marriage Counseling No Matter What

Whether you think you are going to stay in the marriage or not, it is always a good idea to give infidelity marriage counseling a try. Marriage counseling can help you to address your spouse's infidelity in a safe place with an unbiased, neutral party there to guide the conversation and mediate. 

The counselor can also give you and your spouse communication exercises and other exercises to do to try to repair and improve your relationship. This is important even if you are thinking you want a divorce. You may discover that you do not actually want a divorce at all. Alternatively, if you determine that you do want to divorce, you will know you did everything you could to save your marriage, and you will potentially be able to split on more amicable terms. 

Knowing these tips for dealing with a spouse that has been unfaithful, you can better handle the situation and get through this tough time as well as possible. 

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